There’s an older John Mulaney bit that’s always resonated with me. The bit starts with Mulaney joking about what can and cannot be said on network television before pivoting to Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. There, he says, you’ll hear the nastiest dialogue about “fecal matter” and “ear canals” ever spoken, all at 11 AM. Anyone who grew up in the heyday of network television, especially procedural television, knows exactly what Mulaney is talking about. The X-Files had gnarlier scares than most horror movies released during the series’ run.
Those scares often came from the least likely sources, too. Sure, I’ve written about network sitcoms’ scariest episodes, but if you want the good stuff, you’ve got to go procedural. One of the best there is featured some of the nastiest, gooiest gore you’ve likely ever seen, on network television or otherwise. Sure, viewers were drawn in for the forensics and romance, but I think they were all secretly gorehounds, too. It’s fantastic, even if I can’t eat during it, and the series in its entirety is now streaming on Hulu.
Get crackin’ on Bones below:
Per Hulu: Inspired by the real-life forensic anthropologist and best-selling novelist Kathy Reichs, Bones is a darkly amusing investigative drama centered on Dr. Temperance Brennan, a forensic anthropologist who writes novels on the side.
Listen, I worked hard to source the nastiest images I could find for this piece. Bones is otherwise pretty conventional, early aughts procedural television. It’s charming, featuring a fresh Emily Deschanel and television mainstay David Boreanaz, but the real draw is the nasty deaths and slimy corpses. I’m talking left to rot in the desert for months. Bodies pulled from the innards of an alligator. Bodies melted in chocolate. All in pristine, practical detail. It’s nasty, but it’s art.
The entire series is streaming now on Hulu. That’s 12 seasons of all the nasty gore you’ll ever need. Bones not only featured gruesome deaths but also stands out for being both a critical and commercial success. They don’t really make network television like they used to. I can’t say I’m surprised, either, to have seen so many among my generation grow up to be horror fans. This is the kind of stuff we were watching on weeknights. What else could you expect?
Any plans to check out Bones on Hulu? If you revisit it for a rewatch (like I’m in the midst of), let me know over on Twitter @Chadiscollins.
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