I scream. You scream. We all scream for ice cream! I cannot, however, say the same for Eli Roth’s latest, Ice Cream Man. The kids-gone-bad horror (comedy?) piles on the gory syrup but seriously lacks any flavor beyond that.
Set in the idyllic town of Bayleen Bay, we meet Jared (Charlie Zeltzer). A young kid eyeing the last week of school, Jared wants to enjoy summer break with his friends. But that plan melts before his eyes when a mysterious Ice Cream Man (Ari Millen) begins handing out treats with names like Locust Lick and Serpent Swirl, turning any kid who eats them into a murderous zombie. Now, it’s up to Jared and co. to stop the deadly dairy-slinging maniac before he gives the whole town a permanent brain freeze.
I’d love to elaborate on the plot, but that’s about all there is to this vanilla scoop of a supernatural revenge premise that too often comes off as bored with itself. That’s frustrating, too, because Ice Cream Man occasionally teases a quirky weirdness that comes so close to giving the film more of a personality. There’s Jared making eye contact with the Ice Cream Man’s grinning cone logo, sprinkling the air with a creeping eeriness. Kids pop up in windows as the Ice Cream Man slowly drives through the neighborhood at night, accompanied by a light mist. And of course, that classic yet unsettling tune, twisted by composer Brandon Roberts. Yet any chill is quickly quashed by lifeless dialogue, drippy pacing, and direction that struggles mightily to build tension when it matters most.
That’s before getting into the shoulder-shrug exposition drops, delivered by characters with an “I don’t know, just go with it” attitude.
Not helping the tired tone are performances that consistently come off as zombified themselves. Most lines in Ice Cream Man are delivered with as much energy as an ice cream cone baking in the sun. Not that they’re supported by the script, considering it makes them all sound one-dimensional. I couldn’t really tell you much about Jared or his sister, Lizzie (Sarah Abbott), because the film isn’t interested in them, either. Everything besides death scenes is just filler toppings between kills; Dull filler, at that.
If not for Steve Newburn‘s excellent gore effects, Ice Cream Man would be about as plain a summer “treat” as it gets. Enjoy Eli Roth’s work or not, you know you’re generally going to get entertaining bloodshed done the practical way with his movies. In that regard, Ice Cream Man does not disappoint. This film’s like a nasty Baskin Robbins, with ninety-nine flavors of fucked up. Kids saw off heads, crush faces with bricks, play jump rope with intestines, you name it. Think Cooties meets Terrifier when it comes to the extreme violence at the hands of murderous tykes. Giggling kiddos fingerpainting with blood while the uninfected look on in stunned bewilderment.
Hardcore Roth fans will recognize the filmmaker’s tendency for juvenile dark comedy as hordes of children shove their grubby little hands into bodies and make a mess of everything. Ice Cream Man’s gruesome derangement, demented sense of humor, and cheap presentation all call to mind a Troma effort. If I didn’t know it was Roth’s first film for his Horror Section label, I wouldn’t be surprised to see it sitting on a shelf with The Toxic Avenger or Sgt. Kabukiman. The difference being that those films have a lot more energy.
Like the Troma films it reflects, Ice Cream Man is gross, gruesome, giddy with twisted nastiness, and very much an acquired flavor that’ll taste like a refreshing mint chocolate chip to some and rotten egg to everyone else.
That’s the thing with Roth and his style of horror comedy. Sometimes it works (Thanksgiving). Other times, it’s a bunch of fart jokes (Green Inferno). Ice Cream Man leans towards the latter in terms of effectiveness. The laughs are sparse, and the groans abundant. From beginning to end, this thing’s in desperate need of a sugar boost.
With The Horror Section, Roth aims to deliver uncut, unfiltered genre films that go around the MPAA. I can respect that. And if you’re craving a bloody helping of outlandish gore to satisfy that sicko tooth, Ice Cream Man may have the flavor for you. Me? I like a few extra toppings with my syrupy bloodshed, and Roth’s latest is fresh out of all of them.
Get a taste of Ice Cream Man when it arrives in theaters nationwide on August 7th via The Horror Section.
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