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Friday, March 2, 2018

Battle of the Same-Name Horror Icons: Blade Versus Blade

I find it pretty cool that we've got a slew of same-names in the horror genre, so I thought it fitting to incorporate an analysis. I'd do a video (someday soon), but that's not my style at the moment. Rather, we're treating this in dazzling literary fashion, so fashion your spectacles and immerse yourself in the shocking battle comparison of the two "Blades" we fondly remember in the horror genre --

Introducing Blade.... And, well, Blade! Two Blades. One's a half-vamp vampire killer. The other one's a doll (one of the scariest dolls ever in the genre, I might add). So here's the question for you:

Which One Bests the Other in a Fight? (Or Do They Just Team Up??)

For argument's sake, let's say they most likely would team up given the fact that Blade (Snipes) really only cares about cutting up vamps and wants nothing to do with dolls. And we're pretty sure Blade (doll) would take one look at Blade (Snipes) and just want to play cards or have some tea (maybe not).

However, here's the guilty pleasure: which one would win in a fight?? Hmmmm....

Here's the breakdown for those who don't have the skinny on the characters: we all know Blade (Snipes) for the most part.... half-vampire, bad-ass with a gun and a katana, does a lot of flips and looks great in black. All of a vampire's strengths, no weaknesses.... Except one: Blade still needs blood to survive! That's obvious. Dude still needs his dinner, or becomes quite frankly a couch potato watching the latest sequel of DEMONIC TOYS.

The fact is Blade (doll) is just a host for the greater power, which back in 1902 came from a spell wielded by the immortal Egyptian Afzel, the secret of life stolen from the god Sutekh. In short.... It's not the doll that you should be afraid of. It's the spell itself. The magic animating these dolls -- especially the leader of all the puppets, Blade (doll) -- not only allows for organic intelligence spurring strategic planning (perhaps forcing Blade (Snipes) into a coffin underground after injecting tranquilizers -- because he can still be medicated after all!), but an ability to hide just about anywhere.

After all, Blade (doll) is so small. He stands only a foot and nine inches, for crying out loud. Guy can hide under a bed and Blade (Snipes) wouldn't even know he's there.

This obviously means Blade (doll) wouldn't stand a chance going toe-to-toe with the daywalker by any means. We think Blade (Snipes) has that one on his belt. But Blade (doll) doesn't have to win by theatrics. Just careful and cunning planning.

And Given This Freakin' Doll's Animated By an Ancient Egyptian Spell Over 200 Years Old and Requires No Food at All for Sustenance, I Say the Answer's Obvious!

The winner of this battle?


I know, I know.... Hate it. (Or love it if you've been a fan of Full Moon Entertainment). I call it like I see it, though. No doubt. Again, though, in fairness.... I see these two Blades kickin' it against baddies as a team! Wouldn't that be a cool crossover??

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