As a chronic renter in her 30s, I’ve never really understood the appeal of having a homeowner,s association (or HOA, for short). In fact, from what I’ve heard, they sound like a living nightmare, dictating aesthetic decisions and gossiping about those who don’t follow their rules to a tee. In his new film, Hold The Fort, William Bagley takes the idea of the annoying HOA but twists them into protectors of the neighborhood against evil forces who threaten their beautiful, suburban lives. It’s a strangely pro-HOA film, but it’s also a film stuffed with as many monsters as their budget could allow. The result is a silly creature feature that feels akin to Cabin In The Woods with its everything-but-the-kitchen-sink approach to the onslaught of monsters throughout the film’s short runtime.
Lucas (Chris Mayers) and Jenny (Haley Leary) have just moved into their dream home, except for one small thing: there’s a homeowner association. An HOA means a ridiculously high monthly fee (over $500 in Hold The Fort) and a lot of nitpicking over lawn cleanliness, garbage cans, and other benign matters that bother no one but the aesthetic-obsessed neighbors. Lucas tries to make the best of it as Jenny makes her displeasure known. As they unpack boxes, there’s a knock at the door. Who could it be? A member of the HOA, of course! Jerry (Julian Davis), to be specific, and he wants to invite the couple to the town’s annual equinox party at the neighborhood clubhouse. Arrive at 7 PM, sharp, he warns with a smile.
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Almost as soon as they arrive, Lucas and Jenny learn that this is more than a party. This is an annual event where HOA members must band together to protect the neighborhood from whatever hellspawn flows out of the portal at the edge of town. Again, think Cabin In The Woods, but the townspeople are ready for the yearly showdown, especially hired gun McScruffy (Hamid-Reza Benjamin Thompson) who has kept the town safe for years. But with new faces in town, things inevitably go wrong and their first night in their new home turns into a blood bath.
Clocking in at 74 minutes, Hold The Fort never overstays its welcome, with Bagley wasting no time and throwing us almost immediately into the action. While that’s obviously appreciated, since this is a vehicle for a bevy of special effects, it leaves the story feeling like an afterthought. A bit more character development, especially regarding the central couple, would help better ground the stakes, but then again, this is purely a monster mayhem movie.
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If that’s the case, then Hold The Fort could have been even weirder and wackier. I absolutely understand budget limitations, especially creating a film like this that’s chock full of creatures, ridiculous deaths, and buckets of corn syrupy-y blood. But there are moments when Hold The Fort feels unsure of what kind of movie it wants to be. Does it want to be pure midnight movie schlock or a more satirical look at moving to suburbia? It’s a little bit of both but those disparate elements don’t always meld into something cohesive.
Hold The Fort is your sugary cereal while watching Saturday morning cartoons: devoid of nutrition, but still a little treat that’ll bring a smile to your face. There’s heart on display in every frame, especially when it comes to the effects work. But Bagley never fully commits to sincerity or B movie madness, which holds the film back from reaching its full potential. Regardless, Hold The Fort is still a quick, fun horror experience, perfect for a slot in your weekend monster movie marathons.
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