Why Many Horror Film Crossover Events NEVER Seem to Work

Seriously. They just...don't. They're not meant to. I refer to the latest word in the horror stream of the ultimate crossover of two of the best Japanese horror franchises out there: THE RING, and THE GRUDGE. Or better known as SADAKO VS. KAYAKO (call me crazy but weren't the original titles RINGU and JU-ON?).

That's Right: They're Releasing an EPIC Crossover Film Pitting the Two Iconic Japanese Horror Franchises Against Each Other

All you need to do is check out the trailer right here. And witness the cheese:

Okay, so it isn't that bad. Heck, I'd watch it. Just to watch it. But I can almost guarantee that the icons that these Japanese films were will be suddenly hollow given the twisting of the formula.

Now, yes, I know I wrote about epic television crossovers before. Bear with me as I say this: film crossovers, especially of the horror kind, just don't seem to work! TV crossovers mostly work given the identical spectrums, and the formats fit together, fighting the same cause (which is why the epic CW DC heroes crossover actually worked so well).

But remember FREDDY VS. JASON? Campy (of course, we're talking about, well, Freddy and Jason). ALIEN VS. PREDATOR? Outlandish. Fun, but a bit out there (don't even get me started on REQUIEM). Even the bad cheesy '80s films like PUPPET MASTER, DOLLMAN and DEMONIC TOYS multiplied the cheese factor by a factor of gorgonzola and cheddar when crossed over, although we can cut that some slack given the three properties came from the same company anyway.

It's When You Mess With the Specific Horror Formula That It All Falls Apart

Horror films, books and other media were always ultimately about a linear problem. Straightforward. You have a problem. You don't solve it; you die.

They were never supposed to be spectator spots to watch two icons go head to head. Like Freddy and Jason. Sure, some of the sad pitiful characters get stuck in the middle with their heads chopped off as two monsters fight to the death, but the impending doom is sort of lost in the struggle for supremacy.

What made these characters so scary was that they really didn't have to fight for that supremacy. They already had it.

Now we have freakin' RINGU and JU-ON fighting for the supremacy they both should have. We might as well be watching some retarded MMA action between two weird ghostly females (and a little boy with a serious case of insomnia).

You Ultimately Mess With Something That Should Be Left Alone

Makes sense, I think. Like all horror films and books, the linear problem is something that should be left alone, lest you want to wake up the demons lurking in the shadows. Otherwise, you've got utter cheese.

Not that it's a bad thing. I like cheese. Especially gorgonzola. Goes well with Italian.

Oh, Now It's On Like Donkey Kong: New "Puppet Master: Axis Termination" Trailer Just Dropped

I'm not ashamed to say it: I adore the classic horror B movies. There's a certain charm to them as you can see by my addition of Blade as one of the scariest dolls in horror cinema. They're corny. Cheesy. Even bad. But that's the thing about those scary movies we loved to watch at the drive-in and enjoyed ripping the crap out of them while getting some wicked scares in, because they were typically a bit bloodier than even some of the cinematic riff-raff we're getting. Something about dolls and puppets just seems scary, man!

So You Can Bet That I Jumped a Bit at Seeing That the Trailer for the New "Puppet Master" Just Showed Up

Even the trailer was quite cheesy. We're talking some major Parmesan and cheddar. But you just can't help lovin' the Hell out of these dolls, especially the iconic Blade and how this is a staple of American horror culture. Check out the trailer right now:

That, my friend, is one scary puppet. Just look at him. You don't find skeletons like that looking sinister. Sorry, Chucky. I love you, but Puppet Master is where I'm the marionette, and the world is my stage of horror.

The New LOGAN Trailer: What in Hell's Fury Did I Just See??

Wow.... This is a post of posts, one bringing about full circle the age of an MCU comic character filled with multiple horrors, so he fits right in here with Scary Horror Stuff.... After all, I couldn't in my right mind post the other cool trailer from another upcoming Marvel film about a particular tree, raccoon, and a few other crazies up in space, because that genre wouldn't quite apply here.

I can, however, include this trailer for good reason. And you'll see what I mean....

That's just a taste for you right there. Wolverine has now reached the edge. And it is beautiful. We saw how fierce a movie like Deadpool could be, and Marvel's seeing the writing (in blood) on the wall, what with other successes in television like Daredevil, Jessica Jones, and Luke Cage taking Marvel into a red zone.

Again, you want to see the NSFW red-band trailer for real? Check it out right now. Right here.

Remember That Little Movie Called "The Ring"? Get Ready for More....

We don't talk often about "J Horror" (Japanese horror), you know, the Grudges, the Rings, that sort of thing. Something about a jerky little girl in a white dress can get a bit eerie and cold, like the jagged spears of ice dipping into your eyeballs as you wriggle in agony. Yeah, that feeling.

stay tuned #rings #samara #trailer #sevendays

— F. Javier Gutierrez (@FJ6utierrez) August 17, 2016

So let's celebrate: because there's now a new film coming out, the third entry to the iconic The Ring, based on the Japanese flick Ringu: and it's called Rings.

This sprung out on me out of nowhere, and now I'm psyched. The director himself, tweeting: just seven days until we get to see a trailer. And then I found out that the film will be released on October 28, 2016.

Time to get the VHS player out.

Horror Television's Now a Movement Thank to Fox's Exorcist Series

Honestly, it's been moving for quite awhile already -- this is why the horror genre still has relevancy in today's media market. The proof's both on the silver and small screen. People like being scared.

And Why Do People Like Being Scared? Case in Point: the King of Demon Possession Stories: THE EXORCIST

You might've already heard about the fact that Fox is premiering a brand-new series adaptation of the iconic story about that little thing called demon possession. Fox might have something here as the trailer shows:

Here's the thing: the show won't be a 'remake'. Yes, Fox is smart in not trying to remake a total classic. No, this more or less will simply be a continuation of the original story about two very different priests on literally opposite sides of the world trying to manage one family's issue of demonic possession.

Sounds like it might be some fun with story development offering up range and surprising direction for the shockers we all love. The show's being described as a "propulsive psychological thriller," airing on Friday, September 23, from 9 to 10PM. Be sure to twist your head and spew over this one.

The Trailer for "Resident Evil: The Final Chapter" Has Finally Landed

Honestly, I'm sure many have grown tired of the Resident Evil film franchise and its over-stylized display of action -- but I, for one, thrill at the prospect of witnessing the spectacle, as I love me some Milla Jovovich and some Ali Larter. The film was a long time coming since the last one, and yes, it's true:

The trailer has dropped. And I have to say: when you play a trailer with "Paradise City" from Guns N' Roses as the score, plus some very serious, visceral action, you've got a trailer that's a winner. However....

This isn't the Resident Evil we grew up with. But that may be okay. I was all for the horror, the suspense, the thrill. But Alice just makes it look damn easy on screen. Let's kill us some damn Umbrella Racoon City zombies. Hell, yeah. Take me down to that paradise city....